Abandon Text!

W. H. Auden once said: "Poems are not finished; they are abandoned." I have been abandoning writing projects for many years, since only the pressure of deadline and high expectations ever got me to finish, or even start, anything of merit. This blog is an attempt to create a more consistent, self-directed writing habit. Hopefully a direction and voice will emerge.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

When the children come . . .

My twin brother had his first child yesterday -- a girl. This was a remarkable occasion, since this was the first girl to be born in my extended family for a couple generations in any direction. It also got me to thinking -- gosh, it's hard enough to be parenting at my age, but how is it going to be when he's just getting started at 36? There are many people whose children are leaving home for boarding school by the time they're 36 . . . my own mother comes to mind.

So the question comes up, naturally . . . are you better to start early with the kids, or start late? On the early side, your kids are grown up before you even hit middle age, and you have time to try other things with your life. You also have a lot more vital time with your grandkids, which may not seem like much now but will be more important later. (My kids are really enjoying their grandma, at precisely the time her capacity to enjoy them is starting to fade.)

Pros for the late side: you get to have a lot more time with your spouse before you get into the kids, which is good for settling into the relationship before the biggest stressor comes into play. You also get a lot more time to get your career moving, which can make for a much easier time when it comes to financial stresses on your life. (I'm sure it's a lot easier to have a happy home when there is enough money for everything . . . of course, that too is a state of mind, and I know lots of families with more money than us who still act like they don't have enough.) And I suppose there's something to be said for being emotionally and spiritually mature for your kids . . . I wasn't nearly as developed in those areas in my twenties.

And the winner is . . . ? I'll let the commenters decide.


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