How do I love thee?

I'm a little surprised that I could get this far into Unconditional Parenting without someone, at some point, asking the question: what exactly is unconditional love? Or, for that matter, love of any kind?

Kohn only describes unconditional love in terms of what it's not -- it's not conditional, dependent on circumstance. It is not subject to logical cause-and-effect: we love our children "for no good reason." He says we love them "for who they are." But what does that really mean? Where does this love come from?

Most people accept love as an empirical reality. Like dreams, it is something most everyone seems to experience, so most never go to great lengths to try to prove it. And yet, this is the question the best theologians and philosophers struggle with. C. S. Lewis and Kierkegaard both wrote whole books on the matter. And all the heavy hitters seem to agree that, if love is to mean anything more than selfish affiliations or biologically programmed affections, then it has be transcendent. It comes from Somewhere Else.

Doesn't this talk of unconditional love sound suspiciously like Grace?