Parent Identity

The other day I put on an Attachment Parenting t-shirt. My wife had bought it for me to wear to public events, just to wave the flag for the cause. But I just wore it around the house. Huh.

I think I'm becoming more identified with my role as a parent these days. I've been a parent for over five years now, and it's wrought all kinds of changes in my lifestyle, my schedule, and my outlook . . . but still, I think my sense of self is only finally settling into it.

Mostly I think it's just other egos giving up ground. My career, as good as it is, is settling and slowing, and the days and weeks are starting to feel pretty much the same. My spiritual life is equally flat and undifferentiated, for good and bad reasons; I'm not doing much, but then again I'm starting to realize there is less to be done. I am having more subtle spiritual insights these days, but not through any particular effort . . . they are the realizations of anybody in my station in life who is paying the least bit of attention.

Meanwhile, my kids are needing me more and more. Fathers are the bridge between the nurturing Mother and the World, and my kids are starting to set out into the World of school and society. And, for good and ill, there is no lack of drama with my kids . . . every day has new highs and lows. There's just more going on with and around my kids these days. So of course I'm going to get more identified.

I have yet to decide whether this is a good or a bad thing.