A Priori Proofs for a Five-Year-Old

"Dad, is God real?"
"Yes, of course God is real."
"But how do you know God is real when you can't see him?"
"Well, there are lots of things that are real that you can't see . . . you can't see the air, but you can feel it's there."
"Can you feel God?"
"Yes, I can."
"How? Show me show me show me. Show me how to feel God."
"Well . . . it's kind of hard to explain."
"Show me show me show me."
"Well, you can only find God inside yourself."
"But I thought God was in heaven, and everywhere else too."
"Well, yes, he is . . . but you can only feel him inside yourself."
"How?"
"Well . . . you know that you're Aidan. Right now, you know that you are."
"I don't like the name Aidan. I wish I could change my name."
"Ok, so don't even think about the name. Don't think, 'I am Aidan.' Just think 'I am', and know that it's true. That part of you, the part that knows 'I am', is little part of God inside of you."
"There's a little part of God in me?" (excited)
"Yes."
"And God helps me?"
"Er . . . yes."
"All of God, or just the little part?"
"I don't know. God is pretty mysterious that way. I don't know if he helps you only on the inside or on the outside too."
. . .
"Why is Hera so mean to Hercules?"
"Now that's really hard to explain."
"Aww, c'mon. I understood the stuff about feeling God . . . "