The thrill of victo- ! Shit.

Today was the sort of day that led me astray into bad work habits. I stayed up late last night trying to fix up a program, in a desperate lunging attempt to regain a customer's confidence. I worked until my brain ceased to function, around 1:30 pm. I solved some difficult problems, the sort that leave you muttering to yourself, "I'm a genius." I crashed on the couch, and came to again around 4 am. I continued to work until 6:30 am, still obsessing over code and missing my optimal blog window. I did manage the rest of my morning routine. While everything wasn't perfect, the client was impressed with the progress we had made and very upbeat and positive. When I finally get off the phone around noon, my arms are raised in victory, and I go off to take a brief nap.

I cruised through the afternoon. Another customer had some issues, but I solve them fairly quickly and came off looking like a hero. I'm starting to think that I'm actually really good at what I do.

I take the kids out for ice cream after supper. As they run around a grassy field, smudges of chocolate around their lips and bundles of clover-flowers in their happy fists, I'm thinking that life couldn't be better. Only mild exhaustion clouded the experience. I went from good-tired to not-so-good tired to man-I'm-wiped in the space of an hour.

More phone calls came. More issues, more things to fix. But by that time I was too tired to care. I worked hard, won the day, and feel like I deserve to crash. Except . . . man, I didn't write this morning. And now my brain feels like it's been put in sidewise. Have I sold a little bit of my soul for another fleeting thrill?