Sleepless

Today Janet was working at a workshop by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, who had just published a book entitled, "Sleepless in America". Ironically, I can't sleep tonight.

It could be the long nap in the afternoon, or too much caffeine after we got the kids to bed. But I think I have to blame Six Feet Under.

We've been watching the show (entirely on DVD) for the last few years, and I've enjoyed the show immensely for it's ability to tell the truth. But just lately, it seems to be remarkably good at troubling my psyche enough to keep me awake. I guess it shouldn't come as any surprise, since most of the show is about the characters descending into self-destructive messes and somehow emerging out the other side. But something has been different lately, and I'm not sure what it is.

If I had to guess, I would say that the show is still managing to tell the negative truth -- the awfulness of death, betrayal, misunderstanding, loneliness, etc. -- without getting the positive truth the way it used to. Before, I would get to the end of the show and think: well, life really sucks sometimes, but life is prevailing and something important and real has been accomplished. Now I just get the to end of the episode and think: man, life really sucks for these people.

What's really getting to me is this continual theme of families getting torn apart. All this stuff of Rico's family getting blown to bits by an affair (we're watching the fourth season right now), and the ugly, ugly aftermath of it, just makes me sick to my stomach. I am so identified with the characters that I feel like I'm the own losing my family, and that is literally unthinkable to me.

It's all still worth watching, or I wouldn't go back for more . . . but man, it's a rough ride right now.